In the United States, parents often express discomfort at the thought of regularly sharing a bed with their young children. Meanwhile, in numerous Asian countries, the debate centers not on whether to bed share, but rather on when to transition away from it. For many families across Asia, the practice is integral to nurturing relationships with their young ones.
How a child sleeps is a significant aspect of family life, influencing a child's safety, development, and also parental intimacy, sleep quality, and mental health. In South Korea, for instance, Inae Kim, an office manager, describes how her family—parenting two daughters, ages 5 and 7—embraces bed sharing to create lasting memories.
American practices diverge significantly; the American Academy of Pediatrics issues warnings suggesting that bed sharing can pose safety risks to infants under six months. Consequently, many parents opt for cribs in separate rooms, practicing a method known as “sleep training” aimed at fostering independence. The reluctance toward bed sharing in the West can be traced back to historical campaigns from Britain's Victorian era, which advocated separating a mother from her child at night, a theme echoed in anthropologist Helen Ball's new book, "How Babies Sleep."
Data illustrates that the practice of bed sharing is substantially more accepted in Asia—with figures exceeding 60% in regions like China, Japan, and South Korea, and upwards of 70% found in India and other parts of Southeast Asia. In contrast, Western countries report rates between 5 to 15%, suggesting that this cultural practice might be understated due to stigma surrounding it.
Examining bed sharing motivations reveals practical considerations in urban areas. In cities like Seoul, where families live in high-rises, parents may avoid sleep training out of concern for disturbing others through crying infants. In Hong Kong, limited living space often leads families to bed share, and it’s not uncommon for this practice to extend into primary school years.
Cultural norms heavily influence parental sleep choices. Some mothers prioritize bonding with their children over their own sleep quality, as shared curriculum in certain societies may dictate bed sharing as a fundamental parenting choice. Erin Lim, a Seoul-based entrepreneur, recalls growing up in a household where multiple generations shared the same space. Though her sons have transitioned to their own room, she keeps a small bed prepared for late-night returns.
In India, the cultural significance of bed sharing remains strong, even among urban families influenced by Western parenting styles. Specialist Himani Dalmia reports a common desire among Indian parents abroad to continue this practice, revealing a persistent connection to traditional family values even in a modernizing context.
Singapore presents an interesting case study; while it retains some practices of bed sharing, increasing social pressures in wealthier areas are leading to a rise in sleep training. Parents like Ho Kin Ing remain committed to bed sharing with their three daughters, despite feeling the weight of these societal changes.
The discussion around bed sharing often brings mixed impressions. In some East Asian cultures, the choice not to bed share could be perceived as a deviation from accepted parenting norms. For instance, some mothers feel societal pressure to conform to the nurturing ideal, compelling them towards this familial practice.
Amidst these contrasting perspectives, the dynamics of family relations, child-rearing practices, and personal comfort levels remain rich and varied. As societal norms evolve, so too will the conversation surrounding bed sharing in both Asia and the West.