28-year-old Hanya Aljamal cannot recognize her life from before the war. Once an aspiring English teacher with dreams of pursuing a Master's degree in international development, she now shares a balcony in her family's small apartment in Deir al-Balah, Gaza, with her parents and five siblings, often seeking solitude in the tiny space as gunfire echoes nearby.
In an audio diary shared with the BBC, Hanya recounts how the war has reshaped her reality. "I don't think God intended for people in their late 20s to live with their parents," she reflects, reminiscing about her independence prior to the conflict. The violence that erupted in October 2023 has claimed her job, uprooted her life, and left her searching for purpose.
Each morning, Hanya tentatively sips her coffee on her balcony, watching her elderly neighbor nurture his garden amidst bombed-out buildings. "It's the purest form of resistance," she observes, finding solace in the neighbor’s perseverance. The UN reports that an overwhelming 90% of Gazans have been displaced, mirroring her continued turmoil.
On some nights, explosive sounds jolt her awake from sleep. The fear is palpable, and the loss of familiar comforts seems unrelenting. She recounts her world crumbling around her: "It’s hard to find solace or meaning as everything falls apart," she admits.
Hanya currently volunteers for Action for Humanity, involved in projects aimed at helping girls cope with their traumas. As she supports them through group therapy, their stories echo her own. She is haunted by the deep loss of friends, students, and mentors, feeling an emotional heaviness she cannot afford to express fully.
"Grieving is a luxury many of us can’t afford," she laments, referring to the many lives lost, including that of her college professor who believed in her potential. This loss is not just a personal tragedy; it embodies the devastation of an entire generation.
On days when colorful kites fill the skies, Hanya longs for a semblance of normal childhood for the children of Gaza, while simultaneously grappling with the grim sounds of war overhead. The dream of studying abroad seems increasingly distant as her reality confines her to survival.
As Eid al-Adha arrives, the absence of celebratory meals underscores the harsh realities of scarcity and loss her family faces. Moments that once held joy now feel hollow and distant as the war persists. Hanya's voice carries both strength and vulnerability, an unyielding spirit trying to navigate life amid chaos. She looks skyward for beauty amidst the destruction, finding in the untouched dawn a fleeting escape.
Each day presents new battles—her home may be damaged, but her heart retains hope. Hanya stands as a testament to survival amidst despair, a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit, even in the most harrowing circumstances.
